My Thots 2 U

Southern Temples The Journey My People Innocence My Fav part of de mornings ..... Well Known & Wise....

What can it do? We survive because of it said he…. Symptom of the will is what he called it… Symptom? How can my will have a symptom Is my will diseased then? Ok to put it, characteristics of the will, is it? Hmmm Well what is it? It is my will, which paralyzes me neck down, can instruct only with de movement of my eyes all after a domestic accident…. And it is my will which does not keep me bed ridden but helps me modify a simple wheel chair into one of de most gawked at, wagon…. Which lets me cross roads accurately, lets me be, ME Also it is my will, which bows down & I am abandoned, down to bed sores, incontinent & wasted….. Is it so?

I am 65, I have had 2 MI’ my doc told me I wont survive if I ignored his advice I continued to booze I was scheduled for bypass Sx and my doc told me there is no guarantee what will happen on table… I chucked the surgery and continued my life, I courted women & lived merrily I was 60 then, young enough to court n make merry I am 65 now, I have swelling all over my body doctor…. Young interns with their guns Firing their flashes in a fury…for their record Your heart is failing, it is not able to pump properly And on & on with loads of advice…. Nodding obediently Doctor my leg is swollen & it is oozing this sticky fluid Man! You straighten up This is cellulites U could land up in a soup… Have your medicines! Do not booze, Don’t trouble your heart Oh! Doc this swelling scares you? I have had 2 MI’ & I survived Am not troubling my heart It is troubling me….I want to live life to de fullest Is he serious de doc whispers to the honorary physician Calm down you Scut monkey Thi

Stoic personality or an image conscious person? Arrogant Snob? Rude? To create a space around Is it a mask to hide an unsure mind? Is it a facade? To create boundaries and hide from people To not allow others to invade my space to penetrate my mind, my thoughts Or Is it an attitude I don’t need your approval I exist on my own….. I came alone to this world I will go alone So is it a “no care” attitude or a confused soul who slowly but surely builds up a face for the world to see…

Eyes …. So expressive… So lively When out for his walk…. Amazed On seeing de Rangoli by mum… Surprised On my ability to jump higher than him…. Confused When de ball suddenly disappears in thin air, courtesy me… Oh! Your eyes…. So expressive “Am so cute” eyes… No need to pout, can still be expressive Searching eyes Ears standing erect, listening to de car… Scared eyes… On seeing firecrackers… Happy, devilish eyes… How do I get that cake! Dull, Unwell eyes Let me rest my head on your lap… Loving, excited eyes… On seeing Bobby (neighbour’ Lab) Caring eyes…. When I run a temperature Dreamy eyes… Lying down next to me, gazing at the stars… Moist, gentle eyes…. On seeing me cry That’ my sweetum Sunny my sweetheart…

A lot can happen over a cup of coffee they say at Barista” But we prefer CCD Dou picnic cottage dena Or walk it up is our choice Staring into each others eyes To casual smiles shared with all A lot can happen over a cup of coffee Elaborate decorative cuppa Nirvana’s To simple plain strong coffee’ Meaningful conversations To useless blabber To simple hand holding for support Last minute catching up b4 long flights into different worlds Warm stories shared Tears to heartbreaking moments Life changing decisions Simple chattering It all happens over a cup of coffee

My angel my sweet angel Time has passed I can hold on to the memories but not you An angel you were to me Walked into my life When I needed you de most Still need you But God has other plans I can sit & crib about the unfair universe Silently grieve your absence Cry my lungs out But it does not bring you back to me Soul mates that’ what you called “us” Difficult to perceive nature and her ways Cannot fight her, tells my inner voice What was the reason My heart asks me again n again My angel walked by…..

It was a kind summer day, nice and breezy. Sand + Sea + Sweet Corn -- perfect combination Settled on the beach sand, facing the sea, a “butta” each. Beautiful, magnificent view. Sheer Vastness. 5.30pm, sun not yet set. So airy, the sun shining, but no heat. We talk about the sky, sun, clouds, the overhead flying airplanes, close range photography of the low flying chopper, egrets near the water…. The sweet couple near the water. The toddler trying to walk towards his eager parents. "Wow I love the beach…it always makes me feel good….." "I love you….you always make me feel good…." Smiles and rests her head on the strong shoulders. Gazing more at the horizon, watching the breathtaking sunset Ill defined sketches made on the sand in front of them Laughing at the sketches Making funny faces at each other Its 7.30pm now an hour and a half past the sunset….got to be going home now. "I wish it were 5.30 again, I want to relive all this again…." "I wish time